What is it to be awake? Buddha as a word means "the awakened one". Each day we learn, we think, and if we do so with awareness, we come closer and closer to this state of 'being'.
All that we are is a result of what we have thought.
The matrix of thoughts and feelings IS the ego. Our ego to a great extent gives us the ability to survive the human experience, labels our thoughts and gives us a sense of security. These labels however can be erase with meditation, inward knowing, and moments where we pause and learn to let go of the past and simply sit in the present moment.
What is the structure of ego? Well, it is vast and, if we leave it behind, our ego says we cease to exist. However, I believe if we aren’t exclusively what the ego says we are, the filters of our ego may not be a threat. It might be liberation. If the ego calls the shots, we are a victim and beholden to it for our own freedom.
If we live in this moment, not the past, the ego is there as our servant. This is a massive step in the awakening of our spirit that simply occupies the body and utilizes the mind to gain spiritual enlightenment.
The game of awakening is very subtle.
For me, losing Chris and being treated with shame and lies by his family - the same treatment he was offered by them in life, and in death brought me more deeply into this practice of contentment to focus on the here and now. Being honest to those who live in lies and enablement is only a challenge if you remain in the mindset you'll change anything about anyone else but yourself simply by being honest. It's the very insanity that brought my love to an end in this lifetime.
Everything changes. Both pleasure and pain are in time. To fully escape suffering you have to look beyond time, pleasure, and pain. To leave the desires behind, the wants and needs that were defined by ego is time well spent. It brings me back to the here and now. And right here, right now, I feel clear, aware, and remain steadfast in my knowing of love and my capacity to give, receive, and hold space for love to exist.
Free your awareness from your needs and thoughts. Cling to nothing. Be here, right now. Don't think about what that means. Just be here, right now.
Live in this moment and cherish the fact that you're reading this because you chose to remain here, put you ego on pause, take a deep breath with me and know, it just makes sense.
Everything only happens right now.