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How do I nourish myself? How do I allow what 'is', to be perfect, even when what 'is' seems unbearable to feel. How do I find joy in the moments of suffering? To love what is as it is... to create an act of love and explore how it feels to not fix or improve what 'is', rather just be with the feeling... this is what self-love is about. To look within one's heart and love what is within.
In other words, to love oneself is an inside job. You can't buy it from a store, obtain it from your massage therapist, or simply show up at the gym and go through the motions of another workout you believe will improve your current state.
Self-reflection can be painful. I can easily find every flaw, every failure, every less-than-perfect trait and make myself suffer more. Yet, in those moments where I could get consumed in the messes I've made, I choose to show up rather than run. I hold my inner-self gently. I am kind to myself, quietly saying loving words. I remind myself perfection is not required - only presence to what is right now, without judgement. I ask, "what can I do today to bring me one step closer to myself and be satisfied with where I am at right now?"
Transformation begins as an inside job - I sit still with the feelings, with loving presence and compassion, and allow all of the feelings I have to just be. I visualize looking deeply into my heart. I see it as a beautiful flower opening as the sun touches the petals in early morning. I allow this energy to move through every cell of my body. I feel it restore strength and knowing. From this place the unbearable seems less so and my heart is able to love once more. It starts as an inside job.